When you’re a parent who is going through a divorce, there’s a lot of practical things that have to be handled. Because there are so many issues that you’ll have to field, you should do what you can to reduce the kind of contention between you and your ex that can be a significant drain on your energy and emotional resources.
There are many ways that you can do this, but here are some of the most important guidelines to keep in mind:
Communication is paramount
For some, thinking about their divorce as an almost business-like arrangement might help. This takes the emotions out of the process, which might help you to keep communication calm as you discuss the terms of the divorce. Remember that focusing on the facts and the terms of the split are beneficial.
You also need to be careful about what you say to other people about the divorce and your ex. While it’s understandable that you may need to vent about everything, it’s wise to only share such expressions of frustration, anger or distress to a trusted few. A therapist, a best friend or a close family member can be your sounding boards — but don’t share your feelings broadly with acquaintances or people who are mutual friends with your ex.
Put the children first at all times
Even if you and your ex agree on nothing else, you probably both want what is best for your children. If you can agree to approach all of your important negotiations with the idea that you want to protect your children from undue stress, you and your spouse may find common ground on which you can build other agreements.
Your attorney can help you to learn more about what’s possible and what you need to watch for as you’re going through the divorce. Knowing what to expect during your divorce might also help you to remain less stressed — which can make approaching the decisions you need to make from a logical standpoint much easier.